


Her Side of the Bed

by miabellaholtz



Category: Ghostbusters (2016)
Genre: F/F, Holtzbert Week
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-08
Updated: 2018-07-08
Packaged: 2019-06-07 05:51:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15212585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miabellaholtz/pseuds/miabellaholtz
Summary: Erin had never enjoyed cuddling at night. She enjoyed the flirtatious games before making love with a partner or the romantic evenings spent snuggled close together while watching a movie or reading. But for some reason, when it was time for sleep, she wanted her partner to kiss her goodnight and leave her alone to her side of the bed.But now that she's with Holtzmann, her thoughts on the matter have changed.Written for day 1 prompt of Holtzbet Week 2018





	Her Side of the Bed

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Holtzbert Week! I decided that this time around, I would attempt to join in on the fun and contribute something to our wonderful little fandom. Most of my submissions were hastily written (I work in the animal field so my time has been stretched lately) but I tried to do my best with the prompts.I would like to thank Eevachu for orchestrating this event! It's something I always look forward too. Hope you enjoy and constructuve criticism is always appreciated!

Erin had never enjoyed cuddling at night. She enjoyed the flirtatious games before making love with a partner or the romantic evenings spent snuggled close together while watching a movie or reading. But for some reason, when it was time for sleep, she wanted her partner to kiss her goodnight and leave her alone to her side of the bed. 

While her relationship with Phil was flawed, she had to credit him on the fact that he respected this wish. On a rare occasion he would suggest spooning together but would never push the subject after she turned down the offer. He was arrogant. He was condescending. He was even willing to sell out his beliefs if it might get him ahead in some arbitrary rat race. But as a romantic partner, he always respected Erin’s requests. He always left her side alone.

It’s not that she hated the idea of cuddling. It had some level of romance. The need to be close to someone. To feel secure in their arms. To be lulled asleep by the sound of their heart beat and quiet breathes. But the reality had never lived up to expectation. She wound up being overly warm, trapped beneath the weight of her lover. It was stifling and uncomfortable and she would just rather have her own side, to stretch out comfortably and save the affectionate gestures for when they were both conscious.

Maybe this was a reason that her past relationships had failed. Maybe it was a way to keep a new romantic interest at arm’s length until she was certain that she wanted to pursue them further. Whatever the reason may be, Erin did not entertain the thought of falling asleep cuddling in bed. 

Until Jillian Holtzmann. 

Holtz’s very essence seemed to drip with physicality. Her moods were easily deciphered by her gait, strutting around the lab when filled with confidence or slinking quietly into the corners when she needed to stop and think. Dancing was also a common factor in the equation as she bopped her head along to whatever song was resonating within. 

It was also a way for her to express emotion. Despite how she portrayed herself for the crowds or reporters who frequently showed up at busts, Jillian was reserved when in the privacy of a closed room. She used actions more than words when it was just the four of them and depending on who she was with, her actions changed.

She would affectionately kiss Patty’s hand and wrap her arms around her. On one afternoon, Patty had a breakthrough in determining a reason for an older couple’s routine haunting. The case had baffled them for weeks and was resolved when Patty uncovered a tangled complicated history involving young lovers, disapproving families, and two vey coincidental deaths. Holtzmann had leapt up and jumped onto Patty, wrapping her legs around her waist and laughing joyously.

With Abby, Holtzmann had an ease of familiarity. Their communication together was almost nonverbal, the result of working for years together in a small, cramped lab. Every gesture, every minor change in posture and facial expression meant something between the two. She would hip check Abby when Abby teased her about her eccentric tendencies. She would run a hand along her shoulders when Abby requested her to look at a hypothesis for future testing. She would sneakily add extra wontons to Abby’s soup from her own tin when Benny messed up her order, just to try to make Abby happy. 

While different from each other, these reactions were still more similar to each other than they were to how Holtz treated Erin. While they were more affectionate, Holtz did not truly reveal herself until she was behind a closed door. That was when the façade broke and Holtzmann was Jillian.

Jillian was the softest version of Holtz, speaking in hushed tones and her cadence of speech slowing in the quiet of Erin’s apartment. Her movements were relaxed, no longer bustling about the lab or attempting to bring out a laugh. Her smile was small, almost shy.

She was also sensitive. When they watched movies together, Holtz was the more likely to tear up during the emotionally climatic scenes. During nature documentaries (which Erin learned she had an affinity towards), she was conflicted as she struggled to decide what she would rather see: the predator eat and continue to live at the expense of its prey, or the prey to escape and live to see another day while the predator slowly starved.

And if Erin was being honest, she was the best partner she had had. Between them, Holtz was the more likely to make a romantic gesture. She was the stickler about anniversaries and important dates (Valentine’s Day brought about a dozen freshly cut roses, a romantic dinner hand prepared by Holtz herself, and a night out at the theatre to see Hamilton, which Erin had not expected). She was the one to run Erin a hot bath “just because” and bring her a glass of wine and a tray of chocolates, without pushing for a sexual favor.

Holtz was also just as attentive as a lover as she was a girlfriend. She knew Erin’s body like she knew the machinery she designed and produced in the lab. She knew how to make her bend, mold, and melt into whatever Holtz desired. Holtz had mastered the technique of bringing Erin to the brink and the tortured teasing that made her orgasm that much stronger. As they lay in the aftermath of their love making, Holtz would gently kiss her, whispering soft confessions as they enjoyed the quiet moment together.

Underneath the swagger and the bravado that Holtz carried herself with, was a woman who truly just wanted to love and be loved in return. She was a steadfast friend and a devoted lover. Their relationship of five months was still new. But Erin knew that her feelings for the quirky engineer were developing quickly into those of love.

Which is what made the look on her face when Erin turned away at night so much harder to endure. 

The first time it had occurred, Holtz had panicked, apologizing profusely, asking for forgiveness and for Erin to “please just tell me what I did wrong! I won’t do it again.” Erin had sat up, clicked on the light and took the blonde’s hands, holding them gently and stroking her thumb across her knuckles as she explained her aversion to sleeping with someone. Holtz had concentrated, listened closely and afterwards she’d leaned up and kissed the corner of Erin’s mouth.

“I understand. Goodnight, Erin.” And she moved away without another word on the matter, sliding down the bed to lay her head on her pillow and wrapping her arms around it.

Since that night, Holtzmann had not made a move to cross onto Erin’s side of the bed uninvited; another example of her consideration for Erin’s wants, needs, and desires. Her devotion to trying to be the best possible girlfriend Erin could want. 

And that isn’t sitting well with Erin.

Holtz was doing everything right. She was actively trying to be a good partner. And Erin felt like she wasn’t reciprocating. Every night as she lay in bed, trying to fall asleep, she looks over and sees Holtz cuddling a pillow, her consolation prize to fulfill her need to be physically close to something she loves in her sleep. 

Erin loved Holtz. Which is what made it that much harder when Holtz had bad days.

Erin’s alarm clock had not gone off, causing a mad rush as they attempted to ready themselves for the day. Holtz hadn’t had time to do her hair in its usual up do. She had hastily braided it to keep it out of her way in the lab, claiming it was fine. But as they walked to the Firehouse, Erin could practically feel the waves of discomfort rolling off the engineer, as her hands flitted about her head, smoothing over the hairs that didn’t want to cooperate in the braid. 

Things had not improved once they arrived at the firehouse. Holtzmann had set to work on doing repairs to the pack, and as Erin sat at her desk, she watched the engineer become increasingly more frustrated, dismantling piece after piece as she looked over the mechanics, her brow furrowed and muttering under her breath as she cursed her machinery.

After hours of making no noteworthy progress, Holtz slammed her wrench down on the table with a frustrated groan. “Let’s order lunch. I’m having a mental poof.” The blonde stalked over to the fire pole and leaned down yelling for Abby to “pick a place and order the usual.” 

Erin tried to give the blonde a comforting smile as she walked over to her and plopped down on the corner of Erin’s desk. Erin rubbed the engineer’s thigh for a moment before going back to her paperwork, attempting to comfort the blonde and hoping the afternoon would show an improvement in the blonde’s day.

It didn’t.

When the lunch order arrived, Holtzmann’s order wasn’t only wrong, it wasn’t there. As Erin looked at her lover, she saw the frustrated tears build in her eyes before she blinked them away and sighed deeply. She moved to the counter, grabbed a tube of pringles and pulled off the lid. Peering down, her face fell and she unceremoniously threw away the empty tube away before moving back to the lab, claiming she wasn’t hungry. 

The three remaining ghostbusters sat quietly, before Erin stood up, gathering her lunch and following the engineer up the stairs. The blonde was back on her stool, safety goggles pulled over her eyes, tweezers in hand as she tried to realign the gears in a particularly difficult piece of equipment. Erin walked over to her and laid half of her sandwich down on the table. The blonde had smiled sadly and leaned up to kiss Erin on the cheek. But as Erin returned to her desk, she noticed the food remained untouched.

Holtz put up with another three hours of shortcomings before she finally decided to quit for the day. After shocking herself for the umpteenth time, she stood up, shrugged her coat over her shoulders and walked over to Erin. “I’m going home,” she leaned down and Erin, though shocked that the engineer was willingly leaving work, kissed her back. Holtz fiddled with her collar before striding towards the exit. “I’ll see you tonight.” 

Holtz’s misfortune stayed at the forefront of Erin’s mind, prompting her to pick up a small orchid for Holtz and placing a call, hoping it would help to brighten her day. When she got back to the apartment, Holtzmann was laid out across the couch on her back. She hadn’t turned the tv on, opting to just stare at the ceiling, her hair still in the braid. 

Erin closed the distance between them, placed the plant on the small coffee table, and dropped to the floor next to Holtz’s head. She leaned forward to press her lips to Holtz’s in a chaste, innocent kiss. “I called dinner in. It’ll be here soon.”

“Whatcha order?”

“I called in to that Italian place you love and got you a gyro. Figured you could use a pick me up.”

“Thanks, Er bear. You’re the best.” Holtz sighed, rolling her head to look back at the ceiling.

“Long day?”

“The worst.”

“I’m sorry, baby.” Erin rose from the carpet. “I’m gonna get you a warm bath started. Why don’t you relax for a little while? I can come get you when your food is ready.”

“Thanks, but I think I’ll just take a shower and turn in early. I don’t wanna be a downer – ”

“Say no more. Go ahead and get cleaned up.”

Holtz left the room, heading towards the bathroom with a drag in her step and a slump in her shoulders. Erin frowned as she watched her retreating form. Holtz’s day had truly worn on her, and it was her job to cheer her up. And damn it, she was gonna be the best girlfriend Holtz could want.

When the blonde emerged fifteen minutes later, wearing a pair of loose fitting pajama pants and a t shirt, hair still dripping wet, Erin was waiting on the sofa. She gave her girlfriend a warm smile, before patting the cushion next to her. When she dropped into the couch, Erin wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pressed play on the tv.

Holtz turned her head to look at Erin. “I found that documentary you wanted to see on kangaroos. Do you want to get comfy and relax?”

“Uh, please.” She swung her legs up onto the couch under her and sighed deeply. Erin brought a hand to the nape of her neck and began to gently trace her finger tips along her neck. As they watched the marsupials roam across the outback, Jillian began to sink into the couch, unwinding as she lost herself in the gentle touches. 

When the food arrived and Jillian had finally eaten something substantial, they reclined, enjoying the peace of the evening. Jillian had stretched out horizontal and placed her head in Erin’s lap, letting her card her fingers through her hair.

“Thank you for the flowers. I love them.”

“Anytime, love.”

“I’m sorry I’ve been cranky all day.”

“Holtz, it hasn’t been the easiest day for you. It’s fine.”

“But you’ve been so good to me.”

“We’re dating. It’s my job.”

“But you still didn’t have to.”

“I wanted to.” Erin smiled. 

Holtz gingerly reached up to rub along Erin’s jaw line, before dropping her hand back to lay across her own stomach. 

As Erin sat stroking Jillian’s hair, she thought back on her relationship with the engineer. The blush inducing moment of flirting that left Erin feeling giddy. The heat the engineer spiked in Erin’s gut when she gave her a salacious wink. The subdued moments in the morning when the blonde’s gaze fixated on a mirror, methodically twisting and teasing her hair into its up do. The joyous, maniacal laughter as she joked with Patty and Abby. The sleepy Sundays, spent at the kitchen table drinking warm coffee and lazily playing footsie. The moments when the engineer smiled, truly smiled at Erin and Erin felt like she was on top of the world.

And then Erin knew she loved the blonde. Truly, fully loved the short, exuberant, energetic blonde haired goofball she called her girlfriend. And on top of that, she had never been happier in her life than she was at this very moment, having a successful career doing what she loved with the people she loved.

Erin smiled to herself as she finished watching the documentary with her girlfriend. When the credits began to roll across the screen, and the blonde sat up and stretched, Erin bumped their shoulders together. “Come on, baby. It’s time for bed.” The blonde nodded her assent, stretching lazily before standing to move towards the bedroom.

After they had both gone through their nightly routines and crawled into bed, Erin gently called her lover. When the blonde looked over, Erin patted the spot next to her, scooting to the middle of the mattress. “C’mere.” 

The blonde’s eyes widened, but she tentatively came closer to Erin, moving over the threshold which she spent so much of her time respecting. As she got situated in her new spot, she gave Erin a dubious look. “You sure, Er?” 

“Of course I am,” Erin briefly reached back, clicking off her night lamp and dragging over her favorite pillow. Turning to face her lover, she curled an arm protectively over her, bringing their bodies closer together. “Sleep, love.”

Holtz’s head snapped around at the new nick name, but she didn’t comment. She laid back, moving her own pillow over before she got comfortable for the evening. She seemed indecisive over where to put her hands, eventually settling on sliding it under Erin’s arm to drape over her torso. 

As the two laid together holding one another, a calm overfell the room. The quiet sounds of breathing and the distant roll of thunder filled the space as the couple attempted to find sleep for the night. After nearly a half hour had passed, a quiet whisper broke the silence. “Er?”

“mmm?”

“Thank you. Ya know… for everything. I know you don’t like cuddling but – ”

“Shh… I’d do anything for you.”

“Really? Is it just cause my day was shit?”

“No.”

“Is it because you want to bang?”

“I think we both know if I wanted that, we’d definitely be aware of those intentions.” 

“Fair point.”

A beat passed.

“I love you.”

“What?” The blonde’s eyes flew open, her arm slamming out to flick on a lamp.

Erin moved to follow her lover upright. “I love you.”

“You love me?”

“I do.” Erin leaned forward, pressing her lips to the blondes briefly before pulling away marginally. “That’s why we’re cuddling. Because I would do anything for the woman I love.”

Holtz’s face split into a wide grin before she moved to cross into Erin’s space, placing one arm behind her as she leaned in to lock their lips in a passionate kiss. As their lips moved frantically against one another, Holtz moved to straddle Erin. When they broke apart, Holtz pressed their foreheads together, whispering quietly “I love you, too” before moving in for a softer kiss.

“Hey, Er?”

“Yea?”

“I wanna bang now.”

As Holtz was sliding her top over her head, Erin took the moment to rub her girlfriend’s hips, thanking her lucky stars that this exuberant goofball was hers.

And as they lay panting, sweaty, and smiling after making love, Er whispered her declaration of love to Holtz one more time, before preparing to fall asleep on their side of the bed.

**Author's Note:**

> Once again hope you enjoyed and Happy Holtzbert Week.


End file.
